lost....

what you know..
what you see..
isnt really how i felt..
humans are different, and in different situation especially..
you may imagine yourself in a situation and decide what you may do..
but when ur really in that place.. everything is different..
you'll think realistically about the future.. the life you want to give and deliver..
everyone is different in different situations..
and mine may just be unlucky..
i just did something i have no idea whether its better for my future or not..
i may regret.. but for now.. it seems like it is the right..
i have nothing, all i have is family and family money..
is that a way to my future? no...
i dont even have the right to stay in one place and live there legally..
where can i go with u? ...
if i move somewhere else.. i may fight and quarrel as place and environment are so different..
you may have to change ur whole life, your friends....
all these stuff i think about  again and again ... there are some good stuff i imagined about..
but overall i think i may rely on family way too much...
you may say and make assumptions that you may not... cos your not in that position yet..
once your in the position... what you think changes...
even now i have no idea what is right or wrong...
no matter what... i want to make you worth it...
i cant go back anymore now its too late...
i love u...
and im sorry...
in the future... i'll try catch up to u again...
i hope ur somewhere nice and happy...